Bloodrayne movie in the works – OH GOD NO

A movie based on Terminal Reality‘s action title Bloodrayne is in production, with Gamespot posting on the subject that Ben Kingsley has taken a role in the feature. Okay, that about brings an end to the extent to which I’m prepared to report this story impartially. My opinion can pretty much be summed in three words, two of which are unprintable, and the third considered blasphemous in some circles. This idea is going straight into my big Big Book of Hollywood Mistakes, sandwiched neatly between Street Fighter and Ben Affleck. To make matters worse, I understand the film is to be directed by Uwe ‘House of the Dead‘ Boll. Why don’t they just save themselves a lot of trouble and just use the money to give about fifteen million cinemagoers worldwide a viciously painful wedgie.

Will Bloodrayne destroy whatever faith we have left in gamer cinema? Will Hollywood ever start learning from its past mistakes? My prediction: Yes, and no. Of course, I’m not completely discounting the possibility that the film will be an uplifting and gripping tale that enriches the lives and minds of a captivated audience. I just think it’s far likelier to be the cinematic equivalent of passing a bloody stool.