Top 10 Signs You Are Addicted To eBay

Gnomie Justin Fuerst writes:

Here are 10 signs to find out you are addicted to eBay. My name is sangheiligod on YouTube, by the way.

  1. You use eBay way too much. You even go to the county registrar and change your legal name to your eBay User ID.
  2. You have to see a therapist because the negative feedback you got is killing your self-esteem.
  3. You’ve lost so much sleep due to bidding wars that you are chosen as Christian Bale’s replacement in The Machinist II.
  4. You’ve marked 87 separate 2-inch sections on your body that can be sold as advertising space to the highest bidder.
  5. You spend several hours a day trying to burn the face of Mary or Jesus onto pieces of French Toast.
  6. You wear the same underwear for a week, waiting for your chance to outbid “gstring-guru” on a pair of used designer briefs.
  7. You save all your toenail clippings in a jar, hoping that one day they may be worth a small fortune.
  8. You’ve taken down the degree and awards in your office to be replaced by self-made power seller printouts.
  9. You apply for a new loan and give your PayPal address as your only bank account.
  10. You consider selling the piece of chewing gum you found on your shoe.