Wireless Phone Insurance And Scooby Doo

I must have missed something here. On what planet does offering wireless phone insurance to AT&T customers make any sense at all when the phone you might want to cover is ineligible? Today, I was investigating adding this little benefit to one of my own mobile devices- the Blackberry. Unfortunately, because I am not trying to insure a phone of next to no value, it appears that I might otherwise be totally out of luck.

Then I discovered something called Safeware.com. These folks might just be the ticket. But coming from a family largely derived from the “Show Me” state, I decided to review the policy exclusions right off.

Some interesting exclusions apparently include:

  • Any act of war. They really highlight revolutions, as this has been known to be a real problem here in the US. I mean, King George is still pretty upset over the last misunderstanding!
  • No nukes, but they’ll cover it if you fall into a fire pit though.
  • Insect infestation is also not covered. So if your PC, phone or whatever else is attacked by the swarm from South America, you might just be out of luck.
  • Mysterious disappearance. That is right, the clause clearly states that if your insured product disappears mysteriously, you are on you own. However if you lose it without any sort of mystery, then you are fine?
  • They will also will not cover any depreciation, mechanical failure or even electrical breakdown.

I think you get the idea.

Still thinking about insuring your stuff? According to these guys, unless you happen to have the very specific circumstances take place, then you will not have any help from Safeware if I am interpreting their portable_electronics_policy PDF correctly.

What kills me about this is that the entire idea behind their plan is to indeed, protect against theft or loss. However after reading their “fine print”, I am finding myself left with more questions than answers. To be fair though, the PDF did explain that in theft situations, a police report must be filed. But if you do so, just remember to omit the statement “phone disappeared under mysterious circumstances”. Because thanks to the amazing vagueness of the above policy, it is a real crapshoot as to whether a legit theft will be covered. Maybe if the fire monster from Scooby Doo gets involved….that might help push things along? After all, fire is okay. Just so long as it is clearly not lost anywhere near the mystery machine. Then we fall back into that whole “mystery” clause all over again.