Judging from last week’s cold snap across the Rockies and beyond, we have left the gentle embrace of autumn and shall have to endure many a frozen midnight before we once again enter the summerland. Oft we look to our fearsome cousins in the north (of Europe in this instance) for inspiration on how to weather the coming season, and they have given us no better answer than this Barbarian Beanie.
Long before the advent of USB-heated gloves and foot warmers, these brave ruffians survived the plummeting temperatures the manly way: with facial hair. They grew lots and lots of intimidating facial hair. One quick look at any fantasy setting worth its salt will show that even female folk sometimes donned fine face-pelts in preparation for the harsh climate (especially the Dwarven ones).
It must have something to do with the high percentage of Omega 3 acids contained in the salted fish they subsisted on that allowed them to grow such fine facial hair.
Smooth-Faced Lassies and Man-Lassies Need Not Worry: Barbarian Beanie Provides Warmth and Brute Power
With this fine piece of warming headgear you can stare winter in the face and bare your filed-to-intimidating-points teeth. No frost will dare try to pillage the depths of your knitted headgear. Small children will run in fear at the sight of your flowing locks and soaring horns. All you shall require to survive the season is a horn full of mead and a crackling fire.
As if the deep and manly satisfaction of such a fine beard and beanie were not enough, the Barbarian Beanie features a button-adjustable beard to accommodate different chin sizes. Only a foolish man would pass up an opportunity to don such epic headgear.