Pass the poi! I don’t know what that is exactly, but I think they’ll be serving it up at a luau on Maui. Autumn has hit Seattle pretty hard, and Ponzi’s already ready to escape the rain. She picked up a vacation package to the 50th state for the two of us. Check out what we’re getting:

  • VIP treatment when we arrive at Kahului Airport. We’ll receive a fragrant lei, help with our luggage, and assistance to our car rental location. This is probably par for the course, but I’m already impressed. Do they drive on the right side over on them islands?
  • Hana and Haleakala Helicopter Tour: We’ll travel through Maui’s most remote areas as we ascend to the top of the world’s largest dormant volcano, Haleakala, which means “house of the sun.” The immense moonlike crater and pure iron oxide cinder cones reach a towering 1,100 feet towards the sky. WHAT?!
  • We’ll experience a traditional Hawaiian luau as we sit in a private, oceanfront garden with a tropical sunset-painted sky above us. This Polynesian extravaganza features Fijian dancing, Tahitian drums, and a Samoan fire-knife dance. Plus, we’ll dine on an all-you-can-eat Hawaiian buffet and enjoy an open bar. Now THAT’S what I’m talkin’ about.
  • Horseback Ride to the Coast: soaking up spectacular Maui views as we ride on horseback from Mendes Ranch through rolling pastures and lush rain forest, past waterfalls and Hawaiian plantation homes, to the cliffs above Pacific Ocean. Note to self: horse apples aren’t edible.
  • Maui A.T.V. Tour: we’re set to explore the unique beauty of Maui’s upcountry ranchland from an all-terrain vehicle (ATV). Conquering steep pasture trails and high elevation forests as we ride through more than 18,000 acres of working cattle ranch. Barf bag not included.
  • Atlantis Submarine Adventure: Ponzi and I will descend to ocean depths of over 100 feet in a real submarine. Everyone gets a window seat, spending 45 minutes viewing some of Hawaii’s most beautiful coral reefs and tropical fish as naturalists give a narrated tour and answer questions. “Can I keep one of them?”

I suppose we’ll also be doing some spur-of-the-moment activities, like “couch lounging” and “Internet surfing.” Ponzi wants to spend time on the beach, so I guess it’s time I broke out my Hawaiian shirts.