As I’m currently suffering from the Comcast Connection blues, I thought I’d send you my responses to a recent interview on money matters. Normally, I don’t discuss such things – but as you’ll see, I kept my answers brief and abnormally general. It was fun to return the line of questions with 5-7-5 haiku…

1. What’s in your wallet right now?

Abraham Lincoln
sits next to George Washington.
They feel so alone.

2. What do you wish your parents taught you about money?

Investments are good,
but not in Star Wars figures
removed from their box.

3. What is your worst habit around finances?

If I don't see it
the debt is not really there.
I need to spend less.

4. What makes you happy?

There's nothing better
than clearing out my inbox
before the day ends.

5. Personal philosophy around money?

Make more than you spend,
never buy on emotion,
sell stuff to buy more.

6. Where does money come from?

My mother told me
there was no such tree around
but I still believe.

7. What is your most prized possession?

My mind is intact
and they can't take that away.
Education rules.

8. Who is your role model?

There are so many,
and I have only three lines
with which to divulge.

9. What is your greatest achievement?

Hosting a live show
on cable television
for two special years.

10. What organizations do you support?

All those who believe
in people, not just their things,
are the ones I love.

11. What contributions to society do you want to make?

I would love to help
everyone who helped me first
so karma lives on.

12. How did you get your start?

as the greatest parts of life
always come to pass.

13. If you could buy one thing right now what would it be?

So, if I could buy
one thing right now it would be
just three more wishes.

14. How do you indulge yourself?

At the sushi bar,
I ask the chef to serve me
whatever he likes.

15. Favorite activity that doesn’t cost a dime?

I crack silly jokes
though the only one who laughs
is usually me.