” Dear Bill and the boys & girls at Microsoft,
I just wanted to let you know that I will be introducing a new version of Linux that I will be calling RonLinuxOS1.0 and that I will be distributing it for free to the entire world. My target release date is June 29, 2007. I know that is when Apple just happens to be releasing their new iPhone. But let me assure you that this is just a coincidence. No harm, no foul.
I have already signed up one pizza joint and one laundromat, that will be using my distribution, which should just go to show you how fast my release is taking off. I already have stamped out 5 billion CDs of my distribution and currently have them stuffed into mailers ready to be distributed for free.
My Linux distribution will only include free open source products and will be totally void of any and all Microsoft products. My distribution will also violate all 235 of your patents. But I have checked with my cousin Ralph who has almost passed his bar exam for becoming a lawyer and he has informed me “why worry?” That I have “nothing to fear but fear itself”, which sounds vaguely familiar to me.
So here is the bottom line Bill. For a few million bucks I will be happy to drop my distro. completely. Heck, I’ll even send you a free CD for you and the misses to play with. I accept cash, credit cards, bottle caps, baseball cards, anything of value in exchange for keeping my version out of the hands of the millions of folks who are waiting its release.
To keep this transaction above board please contact my cousin Ralph so a deal can be negotiated. He can be reached at:
Mr. Ralph , #1162763, C/O of San Quentin Prison, Cell Block C, San Quentin, CA., 94964
PS This is for humor only and should not be taken seriously. 🙂
[tags]microsoft, bill gates, linux, distribution, [/tags]