Wait. Back up. Hold the phone. Rewind a moment. PAUSE! STOP! What the hell is going on? No more Eggos? Someone has lost their freaking minds!
Kellog has had to close its Atlanta plant — the second such closure in recent days due to operational issues. It claims to be working hard to re-stock all of the stores that carry its famous waffles. But for now… there is actually a shortage. Many thousands of people are going to have to go through painful withdrawals every morning! This, folks, is a crisis of epic proportions!
Breakfast without Eggos is like… macaroni without cheese. Peanut butter without jelly. Bert without Ernie! It just doesn’t work. It’s not cool. It should be illegal! I think I need a paper bag. So this is what hyperventilating feels like!
How are you going to survive your Eggo withdrawal? Will you replace your old standby with something new, or simply starve every morning until they return to your grocer’s shelves?
Losing out on Eggos isn’t even the only newsworthy event that has been written about in our community today. People are talking about all kinds of things. I hope you haven’t missed any of them!
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Imagine a future in which there are no Eggos left to leggo! [At least we’ll always have toast!]
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