First Lady tackles child obesity

She needs to tackle child stupidity instead.

Tiger Woods & Rosie O’Donnell Make For Least Desirable Valentines According To New Survey

Hitler bad, according to other new survey.

Pres. Obama Proposes to Cut 180 Border Patrol Agents

Border Change you can count on.

Ohio Strip Club Raises Funds For Haiti With Lap Dances For Charity

Reminder: Charity begins at the strip club.

TV Network Fined For Killing, Eating Rat In Reality Show

Maybe someday they’ll be fined for showing reality shows.

Mass vaccination planned in Haiti, death toll continues way up

They have to do something with all that left over H1N1 vaccine…

U.S. soldier ‘waterboarded his own daughter, 4, because she couldn’t recite alphabet’

He wouldn’t be running for school board, would he?

U.S. Counterterrorism Officials Insisted that Crotch Bomber Be Let Into Country

No, really, he was a terrorist.  Would we lie to you?

Microsoft Exec Calls For ‘Driver’s License For The Internet’

because it worked so well for automobiles..

Backless hospital gown redesigned

Now it’s backless and see-through.