So there’s a flight going from Mexico City to Los Angeles.  Three men start praying in a language that wasn’t Spanish.  People got alarmed.  Stewardesses were called.  Law enforcement met the plane at LAX.

What happened?

Three orthodox Jews were praying on the plane.

TSA got hold of them, screened their baggage, and insisted that they `bark like a dog’ before releasing them.

Now tell me – which was more idiotic: praying in a foreign language on a plane or calling the authorities on the praying?  In what universe do these people live?

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All the way over in the northeast part of Russia, anti-terrorist bomb squad experts were called in to examine a package from which a strange ticking was emanating.

The post office was evacuated and rings of security were put around its perimeter.

The bomb squad discovered that the sound was coming from a vibrator, which had become switched on during its trip.

Fortunately the TSA was nowhere to be found (they were meeting to discuss sexting in Russia).  No word on whether the x-ray machines would have set the vibrator off or not.

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Israeli model Orit Fox did some kind of dance or other that involved a snake.  The snake, either hungry or just plain male, bit her on the left boob.  Orit got a tetanus shot.  The snake, unfortunately, died of silicone poisoning.

Happily, one would presume.

Meanwhile, the weatherman on the local Fox news affiliate asked the anchor if anyone offered to suck out the poison.  The anchor covered his face and proceeded to laugh hysterically.