So many would-be long term relationships begin with insincerity from both parties. Many of us dress and act in ways contrary to our nature to attract and impress that person who we hope could be “the one,” but how long can such a game go on before one’s true colors begin to show? Wouldn’t it just be better to start things off on the right foot and let the object of your desire know who you are from square one and see where things go from there? If she or he truly is that elusive “one,” that person will stick around if she or he likes who you are to begin with. Fabricating a persona to match the qualities that you think the other person is looking for is only going to bite you in the behind sooner or later, so why not do the both of you a favor and begin your relationship free of pretenses and posturing?
Being nervous on a first date is normal, but keep in mind that the other person is likely just as nervous as you are and probably inclined to make the same mistake of trying to pass off an idealized version of her or himself to you. Take the initiative and let that person know that it’s okay to be her or himself by being yourself. You might both be pleasantly surprised by how many things the real “yous” have in common.
Is Cupid’s arrow made of LEGO? Quite possibly. Engaging in conversation about real interests and passions (whether they’re LEGO, computers, music, wine, movies, books, travel, foreign languages, or obscure academic papers on the field of protein biosynthesis) will burn away the jittery clouds of apprehension that may loom over your first date dinner table. If a real match is made, you’ll find that these interests and passions will do the talking for you. If you’re a geek about something that your hot date shares as a common interest, your doubts about how “out of your league” you think that she or he is will melt away as your spirited back-and-forth banter drowns them out.
But what if you’re yourself and that first date doesn’t go as ideally as planned? Well, you’ve just saved yourself (and your date) a lot of time that would have been wasted on further dates. Presenting your true face from the get go will ensure that you’ll find “the one” (if you’re looking for such a person) less painfully and more expediently than if you hide behind a false set of behaviors. Geeks need love, too; make sure it’s a love worthy of your reciprocation and you’ll do just fine.