Hot Water Bottle: 5 Reasons to Keep Warm and Carry On
Hello, my name is ridiculously useful, and I am a hot water bottle. [Image shared by Amazon]
Yes, a hot water bottle looks silly and if people saw you using it in public they might look at you a bit funny. The same goes for Google Glass or people who actually try using a Galaxy Note 3 as a phone. Part of embracing your geek side is recognizing the amazing benefits of some potentially awkward-looking items. A hot water bottle, preferably with a sufficiently amusing and/or adorable cozy, is a powerhouse of diversity that can make a poignant statement. Think of it as a home and health multi-tool, but less pocket-sized. And now, without further rambling, here are my top five reasons that you need one of these bad boys in your domicile:

You Will Get Cold, and Home Heating is Expensive

This may seem obvious, but the kicker here is that traditional heaters also tend to really dry out the air in your home, which makes way for irritated sinuses and massive skin flakes. Your tech toys certainly don’t mind the cold, but no one wants to be sleeping in bed with ice blocks for feet. Get an electric blanket, you say? Do you want to burn? I don’t trust electric blankets, and I don’t like paying for the added juice they require, either. When I’m sitting in bed enjoying a nice Netflix enabled X-Files Marathon, I’m going to perch my toes on a hot water bottle. Having done this just last night (although we were watching Burn Notice), I can 100% back up this use. The warmth radiated, I was soothed, and I did not wake up with lips like leather, leather kisses.

Everybody Hurts, Sometimes

Wise words, Michael Stipe. Sometimes you have an ache, sometimes you have a twinge. Sometimes you just downright have cramps so bad you will cut a bitch. Why buy one of those weird, disposable patch thingies when you can just fire up your faithful hot water bottle and let the pain fade away? Seriously, those things creep me out. They also contribute to the increasingly large landfill we call Earth. I’m not advocating anyone go and hug some trees, but why pay almost as much for something you are going to throw away in less than 24 hours?

Comfort — Yours and That of Others

Sometimes you just need a hug, and there is no one around to hug you. A hot water bottle is comforting and calming. If you are sick, it is especially comforting. Animals and children find this to be particularly true. If you do not have kids of your own, just wait until you are watching a homesick tot. A hot water bottle with them in bed will help calm the sniffles until Mom and Dad return. Dogs especially love to snuggle up with something warm. My dog is now best friends with our hot water bottle.

The Hot Water Bottle Can Be Used to Smuggle Contraband!

It’s time to go all secret agent man on our warm little friend. The simple insert of a removable bladder turns a foot warmer into a very sneaky flask, indeed. With the proliferation of hidden flask items I keep seeing crop up, I am guessing that people are finding it more and more necessary to sneak a little tipple. Why spend your money on a hokey, single-use item when you can adapt your already multi-purpose hot water bottle for yet another utility? Genius!

You Can Also Use It Cold!

Shocking, but this little gem can also cool you down when filled with ice cold water. Slip it into your pillowcase on a hot summer night and suddenly both sides are cool. Here in California, we apparently do not believe in air conditioning our homes, so I can see myself toting around a portable bottle of cold. I can also see the ever popular “Boo Bear” losing his place in the freezer. (Steaks can be used for cooking instead of black eyes! Revolutionary!)

Hot foot it over to Amazon today and get yourself a multi-tasking new hot water bottle today!